LOL, against the assault of laughter nothing can stand

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A sales clerk stops in front of a shelf: “Soy Milk,” he tells the Spanish shopper.
Shopper extends her hand to him: “Pleased to meet you!”

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An Englishman is on a fishing trip in Asturias. Thinking he’s in better hands if he hires a well-informed Spanish guide, he chooses a schoolmarmish type to help him find the best fishing spots. Besides, the Englishman is learning Spanish; he figures she’ll make a handy teacher on the side.
The Englishman asks the guide to speak to him in Spanish and correct his mistakes.
On the bank of a river a tiny fly crosses their path.
The Englishman points at the insect with his fishing rod and says, “Mira el mosca!”
The obliging guide replies, “No, señor, ‘la mosca’… Es feminina.”
The Englishman looks at her, then back at the tiny fly, and exclaims, “Good heavens, you must have incredibly good eyesight!”

A man drops by his old buddy’s house and finds him engrossed in something about the rotary dial of his landline phone.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“I’m texting but this phone doesn’t seem to work,” he shakes an angry fist at the old phone.

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Featured image/Veganbaking.net, CC BY-SA2.0
Green fly/Srinivasan G, CC BY-SA2.0